Running Dog 2:Things That Eat Larger Things

Some of the drawers of the city had revolted recently and refused their owners garments, unceremoniously vomiting them onto the street and running off. The drawers had been stealing the legs of the dead and wearing them, as they were some clumsy mothers otherwise. Divisions of the Pantscorn Men had been dispatched to round them up. The Pantscorn Men were an ancient mercenary company/lobbying group. Their only concern was the removal of the rule of pantswearing. I walked on. This was not my war.

I was heading out to the French District. The subway was my only way of transportation since my car had been crushed when a disco inferno collided with a hurricane of rock and annihilated all funk for three blocks. My car was made entirely out of funk. So I was riding the tube. It was packed full of pirates. Apparently Swashbuckling Hour was over. Those were some well buckled swashes. You could taste the sea if you licked them. Don't ask me how I know this unless I have just eaten enough pig chips to make a man go legally blind.

After walking out onto the sidewalk, I noticed the ground was stickier than usual. Then I saw it. A horde of 6th grade girls were combatting a raging set of Venetian drawers. They had tackled it to the ground and were tearing it apart with cute little scissors. It was a sight so horriftingly cute passersby were being rendered unconcious. I had to hurry to the Necromancers. I had to see this one guy.